I don't think I've shared this one with you, and I'm intrigued to know if anyone else has these issues.
I have an evil pixie who follows me around. This EP likes to mess with Stuff, do pesky irritating things, and generally make sure that I live in Interesting Times. The EP has been around as long as I can remember. The earliest tricks it played were the old chestnut, moving things That I Just Put Down, Right Here, Ten Seconds Ago. It still likes to do this on occasion, just for a bit of variety. Another favourite is Let's Play Move The Scissors. I have about ten pairs of scissors lying around the house, evenly distributed. However, when I want a pair of scissors, every single pair will have magically transported to the other end of the house, dammit.
Not content with these little amusements, it has dreamt up some new ones. These include, but are not limited to:
Let's Fill Up The Ironing Basket Endlessly When She's Not Looking
Let's Play Hide All The Clean Underwear In The House, At 7AM When You're In A Hurry
Let's Throw Mysterious Yakky Bits All Over The Clean Kitchen Floor
Even worse, it has discovered the endless wonders of yarn.
Let's Tie A Knot In It, Right Here
Let's Untie That Nice New Skein, And Then Throw It All Around The House Till It Looks Like Spaghetti
Let's Hide One Of The Needles
Let's Play Hide And Seek With The Darning Needle Set
Let's Move The Knitting So All The Stitches Drop Off The Needles, Then Get One Stitch And Unravel It For 27 Rows
I can cope with all of this. Really, I can. However, a line has been crossed, and now it's War.
My beloved, discontinued, can't-get-any-more-anywhere-and-they're-the-best-in-the-world Rotring Pens have been disappeared. Both of them - my .18 and .35mm.
I want them back, Right Now, otherwise there will be Trouble. There may even be Blood. If they're not where they should be by the time I get home, EP, you're going to have a place for a scab. Understand?